The Crazy life of Writers: Part I

This is what writing can do to you.
This is what writing can do to you.

I’ve gotten many messages about what the writing life entails, and without overwhelming the reader, I’m going to attempt to explain to my dear audience what it is I do and how I do it. Now, not all writers write like me, some do perhaps, but I must admit, until a better way of writing comes along, I shall continue to risk being sent to an insane asylum.

Ok. Here goes. Make sure you have your phone nearby, in case you want to dial 911 for me. Or 999 if you live in U.K.

I wake up, rub my eyes and wonder if today is the day that I finally have that heart-attack, or fall down the steps while daydreaming about my next story.

No I’m not insane, at least not yet, but let me tell you this writing business is not for the faint of heart.

I have my breakfast and look over my story outline. Then, if I’m not stuck in “I don’t wanna write” mode, I’ll write. I’ll write like a friggin’ madman, cause that’s what I am: a lean, mean writing machine, at least until another thought pops into my mind and then I stop writing and start talking to myself.

Then I start writing again, if I’m lucky that is, then I start to get lost in other worlds, alternate realities, last week’s ballgame, whatever.

I try and think if today’s the day I go insane. No, not really, maybe tomorrow. Yes tomorrow I go crazy. Not today. I start to worry if this book will sell, if I’ll be able to make enough money to take my girlfriend to McDonald’s on Saturday night, or buy my niece a necklace at the $1 store for her birthday.

Then I snap out of my reverie and get back to writing, no, I stop, go downstairs and grab a caffeine-laden beverage. I can feel my heart beat irregularly in my chest as the caffeine does the trick.

I stop and think if I should be doing something else, like looking for another job, a job that offers a steady pay check and health insurance. Not this mess, which only guarantees I’ll go insane.

Yes. I said insane.

But no, I’m not quite there yet.

Yes I am.

No.

Ok. So I keep writing then I start hearing voices in my head, telling me that this story is rubbish, that it won’t even keep a 6-month old baby awake, let alone a full-grown adult.

And then, and then…I hear a knock at the door and reach for the doorknob. I open the door and standing in the doorway is…

(TO BE CONTINUED)

T.A. UNER is the Author of various novels and short stories. Please be sure to follow him on LeopardKingSaga.com, where he blogs about writing, self-publishing and sales & marketing. Please subscribe to his blog posts and have them delivered directly to your e-mail inbox.

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