Yesterday I talked about how the taste/hunger sense, incorporated into your writing, can take it to a whole new level. So today I thought we’d chat about sight/visual perception in writing.
After all you can’t make the reader hungry without showing them the food. Right?
Glad you agree my friends.
O.K. lesson number one. Which sounds better:
1)Bobbie looked up at morning sky and smiled.
Or…drum roll please…
2)Bobbie eyed a salmon sky that unraveled before her eyes.
I’m guessing you chose #2. Right?
You have to use the visual description to make the story come alive. You, the writer, are creating a novel, or a short story, which in essence is a part of you. It is a living, breathing entity transfered from your truest self, your soul that is, onto paper for others to enjoy.
Kinda like what movies do, only, we writers do it with pens, keyboards, and tablets.
Another example if I may:
1) Sebastian was lost in the woods, suddenly, before him was a hungry wolf. It snarled at sebastian.
Hmmmmm…but wait, I think we can do better.
2) Sebastian looked around. He found himself in uncharted territory. The trees were dark and silent, boxing him in like towering fences. He heard a sound. Before him stood a dark wolf with grey eyes and dark, spiky fur which reminded sebastian of porcupine twills. The creature licked its muzzle and moved in on Sebastian.
I think its safe to say #2 was more effective. Plus you included some methapors, to give the reader something to visualize. Metaphors are good. But use in moderation.
That’s how you make the reader’s eye take notice. Not just of the story, but your writing as well.